Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Happy New What!?

Some of you probably caught my 'stay tuned' message that I posted last week. For a brief second I had this 'HEY! I want to do something fun on my blog... this this that this and a little bit of that this this that and this, too.' No problem!

Then I got realistic and decided that hmm... I probably should delete that little post and think things through first. My blogging over the years has been sporadic and fickle. Much like my New Years resolutions, really. I have BIG PLANS and SHOUT THEM TO THE WORLD and then... well... el deleto. It's just too easy. I'm getting away from that flippant bit of my blog and my life.

I'm just going to be here at this blog. I'm going to keep it here because its free and its easy. I can forget about it for a long time and know that you guys won't mind (or maybe you won't give a flyin' flip at all). It's here and it will be here if and when I come back again. Why make it Grand? Why make it Hard?

Ultimately this year I just want to keep ONE BLOG for the entire year. This blog. I don't know how much I'll post... it could be a lot, it could be sporadic. But just one blog. Bits of life chronicled in one place.

My oldest son is going to be TEN years old this year. I started blogging before he turned one. Had I stayed in one place, I'd have a decade of archives to pour over. I think that would have been pretty neat. Maybe. With that in mind, I think I just need to settle down and stay put this year... and hopefully for years to come. Just bits of me.

ANYWAY -- we had a good Christmas. It was strange. Things are coming together around here. Things have been unsure and unstable for quite a while and I guess what was surprising is that things stabilized and just sort of stayed the same and that's a good thing. We're happy about that.

In a way I feel like I've been sitting in the waiting room of some office. Anxiety. Unsure. I'm not good with going with the flow. I'm a control freak. I admit that. So 'let's wait and see' just doesn't fly with me most of the time. But we waited and we waited and things are working out. big sigh of relief ... for now.

A lot of the time I feel like I'm ready for a new adventure. Whenever careers change in this house, it usually involves A LOT of change. Big moves. Basically starting over. We've moved a lot in our marriage and before that in my childhood. It's just sort of the way of life for me. But one thing that has become more apparent to me and my husband is how much we want to just stabilize. Stay put. I can say that we've already put down roots here ... we've been here five years after all ... and we want to keep them firmly planted. We bitch a lot about the weather. We moan a lot about missing the ocean or dream about living in a warm climate or near something different. We're adventurous in spirit and always up for a new one. But we're figuring out that we can do that and not completely uproot and start over. Jeez. Moderation!? What's that?

We want our boys to be stable. To know where home is. To have lifelong friends. To feel safe. This is it. Home sweet home.

All that said, I still can't completely relax. I'm not used to settling down. It's going to take ME a long time do to that.

So for New Years this year, we're going to work for much of the same. Stabilizing. That's what 2009 is going to be all about for me.

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