Can you believe it's December? It's hard to believe by the way the weather has been around here lately. Lots of rain, and some pretty decent temps... the grass even seems to be greening up.
After two huge moves in a years time, I'm just sort of constantly in motion. Everywhere I look there is stuff to tend to, all while taking care of my guys while we transition once again to a new place. It's a busy time, but a good busy now.
In hindsight, I can see now how moving twice in one year actually can be logical to a certain extent. When we moved out here from Iowa just this past February, we weren't sure where ultimately we'd end up in the state of Maine. We moved in to a somewhat temporary spot not sure of how things would shake out. As time went on it became clear to us that we'd be leaving that house but we still really weren't sure how everything would end up. So we didn't really invest a lot of time emotionally in to that house or the town. It made living there hard for me because I'm a homemaker... that's what I do. I did the best I could to make it a home albeit a temporary one. But it drove me crazy. I felt like I was uprooted from a very comfortable homey life in Iowa and until we settled down once and for all a part of me felt a little bit homeless.
But even with that in mind, it was for the best. Because we weren't being homebodies, we got out and explored this great state. It was such a fun and strange time! I know it's very clear to you all how much fun we've had from the photos I've shared. We truly love Maine. We have for far longer than just while we've lived here. When we lived in Connecticut at the beginning of our marriage, we often visited Maine. It just called to us. As much as I miss Iowa, this has always been a part of our plan.
Now here we are. Unpacking from another move. It's comical to me... because all this moving is really so disruptive which is something I've always frowned upon but life interrupted has been such the norm for so long. Now I'm settling in to a rhythm of making a home once again. As far as I'm concerned, this is it. Mostly because mentally I just can't go there again. Moving is disruptive on the very basic fundamental levels. We're shaken. It's going to take a long time to archive this period in to our brain and unwind.
For now, all I want to do is take care of my guys. I'm so grateful that I can do that for us. We're so lucky to have such a strong family core so we can endure these changes together and make them easier for all of us to bear just by being a family.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Feeling Bubbly
I have so much to blog about! I'll break it down over the next few posts. But first, I just want to let you know that we're settled in to our new home and we're loving it.
Especially today because it's the first day in a week that we haven't had a steady parade of plumbers and heating guys in the house. The first day since we moved here that I've been able to take a hot shower, run the dishwasher, not have to worry about encountering another unexpected waterfall inside of the house. Hahaha... lets just LAUGH about it and be glad it's behind us. Easy to say now that most of the plumbing in the entire house has been replaced, and the boiler is practically completely rebuilt! I kept hearing that it was 'the charm of living in an old house' from the guys here... charming, SURE!
Mostly, I'm just happy that they're gone. They were all great guys, but it's nice to not have to mop up all of their dirty footprints tracked all through the house... inevitable when the basement has a dirt floor.
This is an OLD house in an OLD neighborhood. One thing I love the most about this house is the ability to walk out my front door and have so many great things just blocks away. The Grange, the town hall, the school, the coffee shop, the book store. It's fantastic. Our street is quite interesting, too. We live on the same street as the most prominent doctor in town, as well as a pretty impressive back yard chicken coop. At the stop sign the other day, I had to pause an extra moment to let the chicken cross the road. I got a chuckle out of that! Our neighborhood is definitely a mix of folks. It's not the glossy suburbia that we're used to. It's real. It's inspiring. It's a bit gritty around the edges. I love that.
This morning the babe and I went for a walk downtown. It's a crisp, sunny day today. We went to the cafe and to the book store. I talked for a long time with the proprietors and got lots of friendly tips and a little gossip about town. It's all pretty simple stuff... but stuff like neighborly conversation and hot running water are things I'm really grateful for today.
Happy December, folks!
Especially today because it's the first day in a week that we haven't had a steady parade of plumbers and heating guys in the house. The first day since we moved here that I've been able to take a hot shower, run the dishwasher, not have to worry about encountering another unexpected waterfall inside of the house. Hahaha... lets just LAUGH about it and be glad it's behind us. Easy to say now that most of the plumbing in the entire house has been replaced, and the boiler is practically completely rebuilt! I kept hearing that it was 'the charm of living in an old house' from the guys here... charming, SURE!
Mostly, I'm just happy that they're gone. They were all great guys, but it's nice to not have to mop up all of their dirty footprints tracked all through the house... inevitable when the basement has a dirt floor.
This is an OLD house in an OLD neighborhood. One thing I love the most about this house is the ability to walk out my front door and have so many great things just blocks away. The Grange, the town hall, the school, the coffee shop, the book store. It's fantastic. Our street is quite interesting, too. We live on the same street as the most prominent doctor in town, as well as a pretty impressive back yard chicken coop. At the stop sign the other day, I had to pause an extra moment to let the chicken cross the road. I got a chuckle out of that! Our neighborhood is definitely a mix of folks. It's not the glossy suburbia that we're used to. It's real. It's inspiring. It's a bit gritty around the edges. I love that.
This morning the babe and I went for a walk downtown. It's a crisp, sunny day today. We went to the cafe and to the book store. I talked for a long time with the proprietors and got lots of friendly tips and a little gossip about town. It's all pretty simple stuff... but stuff like neighborly conversation and hot running water are things I'm really grateful for today.
Happy December, folks!
Monday, November 16, 2009
twist love
I really shouldn't be sitting here... but here I am in the middle of moving and all I want to do is cast on about four sweaters! The new Twist Collective is out and I'm in LOVE. There are so many great designs worthy of getting excited about.
First and foremost... I'm going to cast on for Skara Brae just as soon as possible. I have some lavender Ultra Alpaca that would be perfect. This sweater is knit from the top down with some unique construction. It's heavily patterned without being bulky like mega cables.
Kirigami: again, unique construction... afterthought shoulders!? I'm intrigued! tiny stripes = big stashbuster for me. I have enough gray and red Berroco Vintage to knit this one up. I love the button detail... I would definitely wear it unbuttoned. Lovely!
Kelmscott by Carol Sunday is stunning. Knit with an angora blend... what a lovely dressy sweater this would be. This would be a good project to cast on midwinter when the winter daze has really set in.
I really like the lines of Mystere. Although I don't see the need to knit it in pieces. It'd be a cinch to knit this one in one piece. I totally want to use pearl grey Malabrigo for this one.
I also love the mittens by Veronik Avery although I probably wouldn't knit the liners. I have some Classic Elite Fresco in my stash that would work well for the outer mittens, too.
Frost Tapestry is an eye catching set of winter accessories. First of all, I tend to gravitate toward black and white, so the color combo really grabbed me. Secondly, it's stranded which I love to do. Thirdly, the cowl is steeked, which is a technique I haven't done yet and really have wanted a smaller project to do it with.
Ok! I'm outta here!
First and foremost... I'm going to cast on for Skara Brae just as soon as possible. I have some lavender Ultra Alpaca that would be perfect. This sweater is knit from the top down with some unique construction. It's heavily patterned without being bulky like mega cables.
Kirigami: again, unique construction... afterthought shoulders!? I'm intrigued! tiny stripes = big stashbuster for me. I have enough gray and red Berroco Vintage to knit this one up. I love the button detail... I would definitely wear it unbuttoned. Lovely!
Kelmscott by Carol Sunday is stunning. Knit with an angora blend... what a lovely dressy sweater this would be. This would be a good project to cast on midwinter when the winter daze has really set in.
I really like the lines of Mystere. Although I don't see the need to knit it in pieces. It'd be a cinch to knit this one in one piece. I totally want to use pearl grey Malabrigo for this one.
I also love the mittens by Veronik Avery although I probably wouldn't knit the liners. I have some Classic Elite Fresco in my stash that would work well for the outer mittens, too.
Frost Tapestry is an eye catching set of winter accessories. First of all, I tend to gravitate toward black and white, so the color combo really grabbed me. Secondly, it's stranded which I love to do. Thirdly, the cowl is steeked, which is a technique I haven't done yet and really have wanted a smaller project to do it with.
Ok! I'm outta here!
things change... fast!
We are in the process of moving! I know... that's out of left field, huh? It's a long story but a happy one. We're moving about 45 minutes north of here. I've already been over to our 'new' house and scrubbed the kitchen clean. I'll be moving all of our things over and unpacking them right in to the cupboards and drawers. The BIG move is this coming weekend. Eric's co-workers have already volunteered so that is a good thing.
The house is old, it's huge, it has a decent lot and a large three story attached barn. The kitchen is huge with tons of cupboards and a fireplace! The main floor has tin ceilings and lots of windows. There are hardwood floors throughout so no more carpet. The house is old and incredibly quirky with lots of odd nooks and built ins. It has a bay window in the dining room which will be perfect for a huge Christmas tree. I don't think we'll have the problem of buying a tree that is too tall anymore... the ceilings are very high. The house has new windows, plumbing and electrical so that gives us some peace of mind. It has the huge old radiators though which is so new to us! This house is totally different than what we've lived in so far as a married couple but not far off the mark from the houses we grew up in.
The house is smack dab in the middle of town. It's 3 blocks off of main street... and it's a very traditional yet funky New England main street with art galleries, book stores, cafe, pizza joint, toy store, hardware store. In fact, our house was built by the great grandfather of the owner of the hardware store. The school and church are both on Main street, the hospital is a block off. There's a public garden and farmers market within walking distance, too! It's a very towny town. They have a Christmas parade, Octoberfest, Easter festival, and an annual art festival. We're also two blocks from the walking path that leads to the lake.
Yes, our son has to switch school, but it's the LAST time. We're not doing this again. As permanent as a move could be, this is it. My husband works about 8 minutes away from the house so no more 45 minute commute. There are no yarn stores in town... BOOHOO. But I'd probably make the drive to my favorites that are about an hour away anyway. I totally plan on seeking out or starting my own knitting group again. I'm totally ready for this! I'm HAPPY, I'm excited. It's stressfully great. Haha.
More details later. Be happy for us! Thanks for all of your support and well-wishes. :D
The house is old, it's huge, it has a decent lot and a large three story attached barn. The kitchen is huge with tons of cupboards and a fireplace! The main floor has tin ceilings and lots of windows. There are hardwood floors throughout so no more carpet. The house is old and incredibly quirky with lots of odd nooks and built ins. It has a bay window in the dining room which will be perfect for a huge Christmas tree. I don't think we'll have the problem of buying a tree that is too tall anymore... the ceilings are very high. The house has new windows, plumbing and electrical so that gives us some peace of mind. It has the huge old radiators though which is so new to us! This house is totally different than what we've lived in so far as a married couple but not far off the mark from the houses we grew up in.
The house is smack dab in the middle of town. It's 3 blocks off of main street... and it's a very traditional yet funky New England main street with art galleries, book stores, cafe, pizza joint, toy store, hardware store. In fact, our house was built by the great grandfather of the owner of the hardware store. The school and church are both on Main street, the hospital is a block off. There's a public garden and farmers market within walking distance, too! It's a very towny town. They have a Christmas parade, Octoberfest, Easter festival, and an annual art festival. We're also two blocks from the walking path that leads to the lake.
Yes, our son has to switch school, but it's the LAST time. We're not doing this again. As permanent as a move could be, this is it. My husband works about 8 minutes away from the house so no more 45 minute commute. There are no yarn stores in town... BOOHOO. But I'd probably make the drive to my favorites that are about an hour away anyway. I totally plan on seeking out or starting my own knitting group again. I'm totally ready for this! I'm HAPPY, I'm excited. It's stressfully great. Haha.
More details later. Be happy for us! Thanks for all of your support and well-wishes. :D
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
good things...
Thank you for making me feel a little better. Thanks for brightening my dark day. I appreciate you all for supporting me even on days when I'm having a major pity party. You are the best.
Now on to things that make me feel happy today...
(click to enlarge)
Now on to things that make me feel happy today...
(click to enlarge)This sunset photo was taken at about 4:45 in the afternoon over Sebago Lake. The sun goes down so early now!
My little man is doing well. He's cruising along in school and is making progress in all areas. He's turning in to such a little dude... growing up faster than any of us realize. Even he isn't used to how big he's getting. He's a little boy in a big boy body. He's in to comic books, creating powerpoint presentations, all things lego and DS. His feet are also officially bigger than mine.
My baby isn't so baby anymore! All of the sudden he's talking up a storm. He can identify basic colors, he can count to ten, we're about halfway there with potty training. He continues to stop shopping carts and doting ladies in their tracks wherever we go... the curls, the blue eyes... they get them every time. He still sleeps in his crib and doesn't even attempt to get out of it. He sleeps like a champ and is always up for a good snuggle and a pile of books. He still calls himself Baby and tells people that is his name although he can pronounce his name now. Can you believe he'll be 3 in March!?
My Christmas cactus is about to bloom. I love this plant... my husband gave it to me as a birthday gift ten years ago. I can't believe I've kept a house plant alive that long. It makes me think of the plants my parents have had for decades. They have this one ginormous jade plant that they received as a wedding gift 33 years ago. That's crazy!
I've heard that Christmas cacti bloom when they're under stress... isn't that ironic? Mine seems to bloom this time of year and again at the end of the winter right around St. Patrick's Day. I've never transplanted it... I'm too nervous about killing it. I need to get a few starts off of it and get them going before I do that. Also -- I did knit the felted plant cozy that it's in. It was actually a failed attempt at a felted purse. I cut the top off and it fit my plant perfectly. I love it a lot.
My little man is doing well. He's cruising along in school and is making progress in all areas. He's turning in to such a little dude... growing up faster than any of us realize. Even he isn't used to how big he's getting. He's a little boy in a big boy body. He's in to comic books, creating powerpoint presentations, all things lego and DS. His feet are also officially bigger than mine.My baby isn't so baby anymore! All of the sudden he's talking up a storm. He can identify basic colors, he can count to ten, we're about halfway there with potty training. He continues to stop shopping carts and doting ladies in their tracks wherever we go... the curls, the blue eyes... they get them every time. He still sleeps in his crib and doesn't even attempt to get out of it. He sleeps like a champ and is always up for a good snuggle and a pile of books. He still calls himself Baby and tells people that is his name although he can pronounce his name now. Can you believe he'll be 3 in March!?
My Christmas cactus is about to bloom. I love this plant... my husband gave it to me as a birthday gift ten years ago. I can't believe I've kept a house plant alive that long. It makes me think of the plants my parents have had for decades. They have this one ginormous jade plant that they received as a wedding gift 33 years ago. That's crazy!I've heard that Christmas cacti bloom when they're under stress... isn't that ironic? Mine seems to bloom this time of year and again at the end of the winter right around St. Patrick's Day. I've never transplanted it... I'm too nervous about killing it. I need to get a few starts off of it and get them going before I do that. Also -- I did knit the felted plant cozy that it's in. It was actually a failed attempt at a felted purse. I cut the top off and it fit my plant perfectly. I love it a lot.
Monday, November 9, 2009
a big heaping pile of hurting mess
things aren't getting easier. but at the same time things are good. how does that make any sense?
things aren't falling in to place ... yet.
it's like living a dual life... trying to juggle two lives in two states... but not really being present for any of it.
i'm so tired of this. i'm starting to just check out of the chaos. the ever-changing plans. it's not a good thing.
i'm getting really good at putting on an act for my boys... acting like everything is alright. acting like this is home. pretending to play house in this place that isn't ours.
it all feels hollow to me. i want it to fill out and be a full life. i didn't expect to be so unstable at this stage in my life. by now we should have been settled. everybody else seems to be.
sometimes i wonder why someone didn't just grab me and give me a good shake before we left. someone should have said 'what the hell are you doing? snap out of it! things aren't that bad!'
things really weren't.
but we looked at this as an adventure. what were we thinking!?
now it's altered us.
i want to go home. but he doesn't anymore.
where does that leave us!?
we're not on the same page anymore.
at least most days.
i'm a mess. i'm trying to make things work for my family but i don't know how.
all i want to do is go home.
everything will work out. some how. some day.
this big wound in my heart keeps healing a little and then gets ripped open again.
i've moved around my whole life and i just want it to stop.
i don't want a fortune. i don't want the moon. i don't want anything special at all other than a home to call my own. in a town to call my own.
sure. we can settle down here and make it work.
he's not all at fault. i chose this, too. we're trying to make the most of it.
but the real question is, is our heart in it?
for now, there are no answers. but they're coming.
for now, i'll just knit. smile. hug. cook. be mom.
for now, home is wherever my family is. that's all i really need.
things aren't falling in to place ... yet.
it's like living a dual life... trying to juggle two lives in two states... but not really being present for any of it.
i'm so tired of this. i'm starting to just check out of the chaos. the ever-changing plans. it's not a good thing.
i'm getting really good at putting on an act for my boys... acting like everything is alright. acting like this is home. pretending to play house in this place that isn't ours.
it all feels hollow to me. i want it to fill out and be a full life. i didn't expect to be so unstable at this stage in my life. by now we should have been settled. everybody else seems to be.
sometimes i wonder why someone didn't just grab me and give me a good shake before we left. someone should have said 'what the hell are you doing? snap out of it! things aren't that bad!'
things really weren't.
but we looked at this as an adventure. what were we thinking!?
now it's altered us.
i want to go home. but he doesn't anymore.
where does that leave us!?
we're not on the same page anymore.
at least most days.
i'm a mess. i'm trying to make things work for my family but i don't know how.
all i want to do is go home.
everything will work out. some how. some day.
this big wound in my heart keeps healing a little and then gets ripped open again.
i've moved around my whole life and i just want it to stop.
i don't want a fortune. i don't want the moon. i don't want anything special at all other than a home to call my own. in a town to call my own.
sure. we can settle down here and make it work.
he's not all at fault. i chose this, too. we're trying to make the most of it.
but the real question is, is our heart in it?
for now, there are no answers. but they're coming.
for now, i'll just knit. smile. hug. cook. be mom.
for now, home is wherever my family is. that's all i really need.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Late Fall
(click to enlarge)
The above photo was taken near Buckfield this past Sunday. Beautiful area. Even though most of the leaves are gone, the Oaks have added their russet hue to the landscape. It's still stunning. As the leaves have fallen, the woods have opened up again. No longer do they have a dark canopy that shrouds the hills... All of the sudden you can see deep in to the woods. It's once again, a different landscape.
Today I took the babe down to the Portland Head Light for a walk around... what a treat we were in for! The waves were incredible. Bigger than the hurricane waves that we encountered earlier this year. I didn't do any research, but I'd chalk it up to high tide combined with a full moon. If you want to see a visual example of how the moon phases affect us, just watch the tides.
(click to enlarge)
Today I took the babe down to the Portland Head Light for a walk around... what a treat we were in for! The waves were incredible. Bigger than the hurricane waves that we encountered earlier this year. I didn't do any research, but I'd chalk it up to high tide combined with a full moon. If you want to see a visual example of how the moon phases affect us, just watch the tides.
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